Monday, December 11, 2006

Bangers, Burgers and Bad ideas...
It's no secret that Ben and I love Bangkok. You all may have worked that out by the frequent jaunts we make across the border and whilst we know some people see it as a sprawling concrete jungle...we see it as a haven of great food, shopping and movies...a place to indulge our Western sensibilities. So with a three day weekend at our disposal, we added in an extra day and spent 4 jam packed days in Bangkok with Nic and Meliss.

We revelled in our usual pleasures of Japanese food, markets and shopping centres but this was no relaxing break from the grind of Phnom Penh. We were on a mission...and the mission was Christmas shopping! We ambitiously imagined that we could shop for all the presents we needed and then mail them from Thailand, as it's cheaper, faster and more reliable than Cambo post. But like some good ideas...this one was not meant to be. Bugger! Why didn't we let our fingers do the walking and do all our shopping online?

Anyhoo, whilst we did manage to shop up a storm in exhausting, "I can't move my legs anymore" fashion; the postal system was where our plan fell short. You see we had Monday as a public holiday in Cambodia (Human Rights Day) and what do you know...Thailand had Monday as a public holiday too...for entirely different reasons but a holiday nonetheless (theirs was Constitution Day, which is ironic considering their constitution is presently nul and void). Anyhoo, despite information on the Thai postal website indicating that the main Post office would be open, it was closed. So there we sat, after days of shopping and after a nightmarishly fast taxi ride across town with the dawning realisation that we had no ability to mail anything. Bugger again!

However, with some quick re-packing we have managed to haul our load back to PP, to pay higher costs, for slower and more unreliable services. Aaaaah well. So if you receive a Christmas parcel from us in February...know that we tried to send it so it would arrive before Christmas. If you don't recieve a gift from us then it probably got lost or stolen in the mail. Honestly... ;)

And moving right along....

Most of you know what sophisticated people Ben and I are (why do I hear raucous laughter?). So it stands to reason that one of the first places we would go to eat in Bangkok would be Burger King...naturally. Ben, hungry for the mouth-watering and addictive taste of fast food decided to order a Triple Whopper. Huge understates the size of this burger entirely! As you stare at three beef patties piled up, one on top of the other, you begin to wonder how it is humanly possible for any person to fit this beast of a burger into their mouths. But alas Ben conquered his whopper in record time. Well ahead of the guy eating one a few tables away. However, not long after devouring the beast he fell victim to its power...experiencing cramps, nausea and general unwellness that usually comes with food poisoning. Was it the burger? Was it the oily omelets purchased on the street that morning for breakfast? Tough call...but suffice to say it wasn't pretty and our blog title sums it up. Aaah living in Asia...and eating Western fast's dangerous.

But the fun did not end here. We went to the movies! Nic and Ben saw "Casino Royale" (boring macho stuff) and Meliss and I went to the only chick flick that was playing...not to mention the only other option of an English movie aside from "Happy Feet". We daringly (stupidly?) bought the tickets for this movie without knowing anything other than it was called "Material Girls". We were of course dubious as to how good it was going to be. As we neared the cinema we saw a poster for it and discovered it starred Hilary and Haylie Duff. We became even more dubious. We entered the cinema and got sardined between a lot of Thais. The movie started and Meliss and I were cringing within minutes...but with optimism and joy at being in the cinema we persevered, believing it could only get better. It didn't. After an hour we could endure the pain no more and had to trample over quite a few Thais to get out of the cinema. After leaving, we concluded that the only way to enjoy that movie (as everyone else in the cinema seemed to be) was to have English as a second language and to not have acquired that much. Unbelievably, painfully, mind-numbingly torturous!

Speaking of bad ideas...Meliss and I were bemused if not a little concerned that balloon skirts seem to have made a come-back in Thailand. But it's not just balloon skirts, there's balloon tops, balloon shorts, balloon 3/4's madness I tell you. Now I am not without a history of balloon skirt wearing. I got into it in the 80s when I was a child with poor taste (although not that much has changed really). I teamed my white balloon skirt up with a black and white leopard print crop top and a thick elastic belt. Nice huh? Speaking of elastic belts, I saw a woman wearing one at a market in Bangkok as well...and she was high-panting it! What is going on? It seems to me that balloon skirt madness is spreading more quickly than bird flu ever could. Please tell me this hasn't happened in Australia or other parts of the world???? If you get an inkling it's on its way...alert border security and commence locking down the country.


andrewb said...

Due to a quirk of design in the new airport (there is only a Burger King in the international arrivals area in Bangkok) my Whopper craving was not sated until Anth and I reached Ballarat at 10pm driving down from Adelaide last week. Suffice to say I was not ambitious as Mr Heath in my meat content, but I still had to leave (in retrospect a wise decision) a good third of my burger untouched. We then celebrated by cracking a lap round the 'rat town centre with loud music playing. Fortunately the boys in the red Commodore (you know who you are) at the lights declined my invitation for a drag because they knew a Barina would whoop their ass.

Oh, and balloon skirts are barely scratching the surface here in Oz now - apparently a "trashy pirate hooker asail the mid 80's seas" memo went out to Sportsgirl and the like sometime in the last 12 months whilst we were away. Short skirts with tights and 80's boots are so hot right now. And the number of Jet wannabe boys sporting too-tight jeans and pointy rock boots is equally absurd.

Please give our love to Ming Yim and wish her a speedy recovery - Anth and I miss all of you guys very much! A

Kratzy said...

You guys (Benoy included) needs to move to Queensland - land of the balloon skirt at the moment! Mark and I walk around saying "old people comments" like - What are these kids thinking? They were ugly the first time around... I tried on a dress in the 30-something section of Myer the other day and I didn't notice until it was on, but was indeed a balloon skirt. Come on... 30 somethings can remember them the first time around. So bad!

I remember one trip to Bangers and thinkingthat Burger King was indeed the most amazing invention ever... Until I ate about half of a burger and nearly died of heart failure on the spot. I have now relagated Whoppers to strictly hangover food. Nothing comes close to a Lucky Burger meal for hangover food though.

Give my love to Ming Yim.

Love Steph.

Ben & Becca said...

I'm concerned about the fashion crimes you speak of. Clearly this needs to be addressed in the lead up to the next election. I fear I cannot return to our fine country to all 80's fashion criminals are removed from the streets...although it does sound like it would be good for a laugh...especially men in tight jeans with pointed boots. Steph, perhaps you, Anth and I can take it up a notch and start wearing lace gloves (aka Madonna style)...see if the kiddies can keep up with that level of cool.

As for Burger King...I stick with my trusty cheeseburger. I was going to get a happy meal type thing, as I thought it came with a dancing penguin but apparently you had to pay extra for that. I was not impressed.